si inday...

Subject: si inday... Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:22 pm

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang
katulong sa Maynila. Â Habang ini-interview ng amoâ€¦

Amo: Â Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba,
magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Â Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng
ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with
the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity,
productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well
engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's
cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Â Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principalâ€™s office dahil di
makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc
to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading
for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property
damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be
inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Â Nabalitaan nya umalis si
Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but
because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving
can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for
doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Â Si Dodong, ang driver ng
kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: Â To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable
statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si
Inday. Â Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke
Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the
provocations. Â The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We
have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other
because the upper household dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any
affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to
expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation.
Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself"

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you
thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one
you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]

O SYA, TAMA NA YAN AT PUNASAN MO NA ANG IYONG NOSEBLEED.

Subject: Re: si inday... Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:25 pm

nica,habahabahabahabahabahaba naman nyan
peroh aus lang kc mgnda naman xa,
kaso gudlak ung mga susunod n magbabasa ni2
ewan koh lang kung matpos nila yan huh...
nica try u ung topic n mejo maiksa naman,try lang...
peroh khit npaka at sobrang haba nice pdin naman..
un lang poh....
....

Subject: Re: si inday... Fri Sep 28, 2007 3:32 pm

anong pinagsasasabi mo?

cguro kaw ung katulong kea alam mo exact words na cnbi nya???

hmmmmmmmm. . . aminin. . .

masama sa katulong ang shungaling. .

mwahahahahaha..........!!!!!!!!!

devil

Subject: Re: si inday... Sat Sep 29, 2007 2:14 pm

HaY naku!

sayang ang 30 mins. ko sa pagababasa ng short joke ni nica!!!!

aahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

ala pa rin pagbabago sa mga letters, kulay lumot pa rin...

hekhekhek....

by the way!

GUDLUCK SA INDAY CAREER MO......

Subject: Re: si inday... Sun Sep 30, 2007 8:58 pm

Quote :: ..inday...

Im not extremely good looking but i have sense of humor. im not Breathtakingly intelligent
but im relatively witty.Im not insanely rich but im fairly kind, im just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting ur acquiantance.so, hi

-DODONG, hardinerong
nakikipag txtm8 kay inday! =)
______________________________________________________________________________

"ITS NOT THAT I DONT LIKE YOU, ITS JUST THAT I FEEL WERE STILL YOUNG TO ENTERTAIN THOUGHTS OF FORNICATION IN THE DOMICILE OF OUR EMPLOYERS. IN FACT ITS VERY IMMATURE TO INSINUATE THAT I DONT RECIPROCATE YOUR EMOTIONS JUST BECAUSE I DECLINE TO PERFORM AN ACT OF COITUS WITH YOU.."

-INDAY..NI REJECT SI DODONG MAKIPAGTLIK..
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" SOMETHING TELLS ME SHE WANTS ME BACK. WITH THE WAY HER SMILE SPEAKS WITHOUT HER LIPS PARTING, MY BLISS IS INEVITABLE. I KNOW SHE STILL LOVES ME..

-sabi ni DODONG nang magbreak sila ni inday...

(PATI SI DODONG BUMABANAT NA DIN..)
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"beware of relying too much on imported can goods. those canned goods might already be toxic. that the reason they are here.."

- saway ni dudong kay inday dahil puro maling ang binili nya na ipinadala sa pamilya niya.. ubos kasio sa BELO at HAVAIANAS..bwahahaha...
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" what a shame to be talking against imperialism when u are wearing those imported jeans.."

-sabi sa isip ni inday ng makitang bumibili n naman ng guess ang amo nya.. INGGITAN FACTOR!
_________________________________________________________________________________

"nurture others with positive thruthful words, not words taht hurt. it doesnt cost anything to do so. but mean what you say and say what you mean, do it everyday. this is one of the most obvious qualities of the beloved people. if you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your word...!!"

-sagot ni inday sa amo nya matapos syang di pautangin at pagmumurahin pa nito..hehe..
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" BLOODY HELL!! WHAT THE F*CK DID JUST LAND ON MY CUTIE TOP? I MEAN IVE SPENT ALL DAY JUST TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK FABULOUS. I THINK I HAVE REMOVE THIS EEWY THING IN MY WHIP WHAM OPF TIME.."

- reaction ni inday nung natalsikan xa ng mantika habang naglulto ng tilapia!!

Subject: Re: si inday... Sun Sep 30, 2007 9:00 pm

Quote :: Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda, ay o nga pla inglesera kna ngayon can u pls buy fishes for diz wikz meals?

Inday: Judging by ur statement, i believe u meant a variety of fish . The term "fishes" although rarely used connotes a plethora of different kinds of the sea gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions wud be: wat type of fish? fillet or not? fresh or frozen? (pauses)
Aaah...given the meager budget afforded by diz household's quasi-peasant class taste, i assume i shall source the staple "ga-lewng-gong", am i correct madame?

Amo: Leche ka inday bumili kna
________________________________________________________________________________

AMO: inday, masakit ang tiyan ko.

INDAY: mam if your havin pain in ur right iliac region your maybe suffering from inflammation of appendix or what we know as appendisitis and if its just in your right lumbar region, it must just be your feces tryin to see the world but havin a hard time doin so.

-si Inday nag-nursing na
din ata? hahaha..
________________________________________________________________________________

AMO: Inday, hiniwalayan ako ng sir mo!

INDAY: nothing really lasts forever. so live it up and drink it down.laugh it off and avoid all the drama because for once, what he did was what you really wanted, right? now, if you don't mind, i am quitting this job and i'm leaving you too.
sir needs me more than you do.

AMO: (nosebleed again)
_______________________________________________________________________________

AMO: mula ngaun, walang magsasalita ng ingles. an sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko papalayasin sa pamamahay na to! klaro ba?

INDAY: ang mga namutawi sa iyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong inimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban..
_______________________________________________________________________________

DONYA: alam mo inday bat di ka mag call center, pa ingles-ingles ka naman?

INDAY: i dont think that i'd want to have easy money for i know that choosing such employment is already limiting myself from experiencing enthusiastic ways of expressing what i feel by means of what i do, thus imprisoning myself with an incapable mind w/c will result to doubt and uncontentment..

DONYA: t*ngNAng yan!!!(blag!)
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AMO: Leche, forget about fishes, just buy some vegetables instead?

INDAY: Duh! Can you be more specific? As far as I know, there are seven major group of vegetables this season. Should I buy: leafy vegetables or legumes? would it be the root crops or edible stem plants? crucifer or gourd family? Of course, I’ll buy some allium for garnishing but judging your imbecility on the types of the vegetables around, I suggest this family will be happy with ‘toh-geh’ and so it will be.
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amo 1: inday, siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya soap no?

amo 2: o kaya ng kalamasi?

amo 1: ang kinis mo kasi eh.

inday: NO! only belo touches my skin, who touches yours?

Subject: Re: si inday... Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:28 pm

PAg KAtApos KonG BAsaHin Ang MGa TOHhh

WAaaHHHHHhhhh SAKiT Sa ULo 3 hourS

SakiT Pa Sa ILonG GraBe IsaNg TimbAng DuGo hAhaYSs

PeRo AStiG KahiT Di Ko NaiinTinDihAn BinaBASa Ko, PAtULoy PArin

Sa Pag-BAsa "WhaT I MEan Is ThiS @#$%-ing

MessaGe Is VeRy @#$%-ing IntEResTing" MuwAHEhe =Þ /pif

Subject: Re: si inday... Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:17 pm

SSSSHHHHHEEEEEEETTTTTT of Paper!!!!!

10 pages yung very short nosebleeding joke....

wahehehehe!!!!

Subject: Re: si inday... Wed Oct 03, 2007 5:53 pm

AHHH 'DI KO NA BINASA, ANG HABA2X NMAN KASI...

PWEDE B PAKI-SUMMARIZED NMAN ?

HEHEHE!!!